This concept is wonderfully simple, and I would like to thank Carl from The Nielson Group for introducing me to it.

When we are faced with a problem, how can we respond? All we can really do is one of these three:

1 - Change the external influence for the better. Literally change the world to better suit you. This doesn't have to be dramatic, if the tap is dripping and you change the washer, then this is what you have done…

2 - Remove yourself from the influence. By removing the influence from your sphere of experience you have solved the problem for yourself.

3 - Change yourself. By changing your outlook you could make the same experience appear differently and thus mitigate the issue.

These methods can all be more or less appropriate for a given situation, but by being aware of them I have found that you have more choice in responding to a situation.

An example: the flat we live in is becoming too small for our needs. We have done several major sort-outs like getting rid of old clothes and university notes and the like. This worked for a while, but now no amount of tidying will make it sufficient and thus we are moving.

This seems simple and obvious, but in other situations can be more profound:

If you have a problem with another person, you can theoretically choose from the three options. However it is very difficult and usually undesirable to attempt to change the other person, Thus the only choices you have are to remove yourself from the place where that person is, or to change yourself. Asking yourself questions like - "I can't get on with this person, but do I really want to move jobs to be away from them?" can place the choice of changing yourself into a much more favourable light.



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